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My Son Didn't Wreck My Body, I Did!

I hear Moms talk about accepting their bodies as a result of having children quite often (baby weight) . In fact, I hear people use the same reasoning with me when I'm less accepting of my body (i.e. when we, women/moms, call ourselves FAT). The thing is, MY body isn't the way it is because of my son and I'm not just gonna be OKAY with it.

We all have a different perception of a "wrecked body". To be quite honest, I'm not looking at yours. I don't even care. I'm so fixated on how I "feel", not how I feel people perceive me, but how I feel in my clothes (or out of them) ...that the way you think I feel about how you look is just a figment of your imagination.

Let's revert back a bit. Before I got pregnant with my son (August 1998), I was just over 100 lbs. I might have peaked at 105 lbs. on a "bad" day / week / month. 9 months later I stepped on the scale, the day after my son's due date and I weighed 142 lbs. This just so happened to be the day I gave birth to my son.

There's nothing wrong with 142 lbs. for someone else. I'm built with TINY bones. I've always been "skinny" per se. 142 lbs. for me is something else. Before I go into that, let me tell you that about a year after I had my son, I was in the best shape I've ever been. I lost all the baby weight and then some. I guess you could say I was fortunate in the fact that my son's father and I weren't together (single mom), so I had every other weekend off and I would go out dancing with friends. Dancing, along with a kick towards organic and natural foods likely helped me maintain MY ideal figure.

I found what I felt like was MY ideal weight, around 115 lbs. at 5 ft. 4 inches. It seemed to be a happy medium! Around 2004, I started gaining weight. I don't recall which year I hit 142 lbs. because after that it just kept going. When I reached 150 lbs. I knew I had to do something. At this point, it wasn't baby weight. My son was at least 5 years old.

From 115 lbs. to 150 lbs. I experienced multiple woes, including joint pain in my knees, shoulders and back due to my endowment, overall fatigue due to my weight and quite frankly, all of that made me depressed.

In 2013 (my son was 12 - that's NOT BABY WEIGHT) I learned about a supplement that eventually afforded me the desire to work out and eat healthier, in turn a 23 lb. weight loss, more energy, a better overall mood, relief of joint discomfort among many other things. I even signed up to sell the product. Without making an effort to actually sell it, I made money. The product kind of sold itself. It worked, but it was super expensive so I had to quit taking it, among other reasons.

Now, I'm back at a weight that I despise and I fear that the Mr. won't be attracted to me eventually, as a result. I can't let this happen. Take the Mr. out of the picture and I still feel disgusted. I was "skinny", got pregnant, lost weight, reached a "healthy weight" for MY body and then reached a weight that was equal to or exceeded the weight from the day I gave birth to my son. That's NOT okay. It's NOT baby weight.

I'm sorry, but because I know that I can do it, I'm not just going to accept my body as it is. I'd love to post pictures, but quite frankly, we all have different perceptions. Your ideal body may not be the same as mine. My son is 17 years old. There's no time to place blame on a teenager. Give yourself a couple of years and that's it. After that it's time for you to bite the bullet and get in shape!

At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself: Is your body healthy? Is your body in pain? Do you feel comfortable in your body? If you don't, no matter what society says, you should do something about it, FOR YOU!



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melsaywhat: My Son Didn't Wreck My Body, I Did!
My Son Didn't Wreck My Body, I Did!
Is your body healthy? Is your body in pain? Do you feel comfortable in your body? If you don't, no matter what society says, you should do something about it, FOR YOU!
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