It's a little over a quarter into the year 2020. I can legit say this is the worst year of my life. Last year I turned 40. I thought 2020 would be my year with 9 months to continue celebrating my 40th year. I'm a bit late to the party writing this, but I've been wanting to put my thoughts down for someone to read many years from now or TODAY or tomorrow, next week, a few months from now.
In late 2019, a virus surfaced in China. It became highly contagious, so much to the point that before the end of Chinese New Year (a time when China is on holiday for a week already), China announced that they would remain shut down: a country wide lock down per se. In fact, that's what it became.
I regularly dealt with vendors in China as a buyer of fasteners in the industrial distribution industry. I was afraid to ask too many questions, as shortly after the doctor who "uncovered" the virus, COVID-19 or Coronavirus, not only was reprimanded by the Chinese government, but also later contracted the virus and lost his life to Coronavirus.
Instead of asking questions of my suppliers in China affected by Coronavirus, I sent them my thoughts and well wishes for their family, friends and colleagues, citing my concern of the "dire" situation.
Meanwhile, I was slated to travel from Georgia to Minnesota for training to transition to my new position. I was scared. My boyfriend shrugged it off saying it would be gone by the time I traveled. Nearly a month later, at the end of February, I was still a bit freaked out. I traveled, I came home, I almost quarantined for 14 days. I went into the office for ONE DAY, maybe 3/11-ish (so about 10 days). I started getting a bit more freaked out as the concern and number of cases within the U.S began to rise.
I was watching way too much news. It caused great anxiety, but it kept me informed at just how serious and contagious Coronavirus was/is.
Fast forward to today, April 13th. I'm still scared. Why? I'm stuck in my home. Not a problem, IF finding general household supplies (in reasonable amounts) such as toilet paper, hand soap, hand sanitizer, disinfectant cleaning products, etc. weren't such a hassle. It wouldn't be such a concern for me if my boyfriend, deemed an essential employee, who CAN and SHOULD, work from home is still required to go in.
By the way, I'm also considered essential, but when I took my new job on 3/2 it was working from home with the option (at my discretion) to go into the office. I'm an introvert, so working from home was the obvious choice.
Anyway, we've gone through hella more cleaning products than usual and have even impemented a routine of him taking his clothes off at the door, putting them directly into the washer and starting the wash. He took it seriously at first, but then started slacking and started making jokes out of it. Look, I already have high blood pressure (aka one of the high risk factors, pre-existing conditions), PLEASE don't eff with me, but he did.
Not only that, but my boyfriend was visiting his (minor) daughter a few nights per week and on parts of the weekend. Yet ANOTHER multiplication factor in me possibly contracting the virus. It's a huge point of contention for us, rightfully so. We love each other. He doesn't want to stop seeing me (we live together), but also doesn't want to stop seeing his daughter. I NEVER asked him to stop seeing his daughter. Stop seeing me, for now. The BEST way for us to get through this is isolation. He has a place he can isolate. I have a place I can isolate. Do I want this? No. Is it the best thing to do? Yes.
Why? I haven't seen my 20-year old son since December, around Christmas. I want to live for that and the more I can reduce that risk the better. I haven't seen my parents, brother, nieces in over a year (they're in AZ. I'm in GA.). I want to live for that. I want to live for my boyfriend, too. He is the love of my life, the man I've been looking for my whole life. It took us a long time to find each other. I don't want to be without him, but it's what I think is right.
I have TONS of other thoughts, but for now, this is it.
In upcoming posts, we'll talk about the U.S.'s reaction to all of this, number of cases in the U.S., conspiracy theories, President Trump and more.
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